2024/08/27

It’s not my childhood trauma, it is "Climber wound"!

How can you HEAL the MOTHER/FATHER wound?

I admit that I am AC. AC is a short for Adult Children and that means I had to take a full responsibility when I was a just a kid, I am the oldest of 3 and my mom was single. 

So I started to take a responsibility of home maker since I was 8. So this habit of taking your full responsibility was so beneficial when I was leading to climb. 

I knew how to knot clove hitch before I climb multipitch. Also I knew how to climb a rope before I can lead climb my first 5.9. 

But NON of my climbing partners had a skill equals to my skills... some even does not bring his own rope. 

Lack of gear is out of question. Lack of skills is also out of question. 

As a result, I got injured. Because of my partner's lack of skills of his belay and lack of responsibility!!

Some guys come to me are worse. They say I was so close to death when he put me so close to death. 

The last partner of mine has climbed 2 pitches at 50 m single rope, and the two pitch was 25 m, and 35 m.  No wonder why we had to hang in one bolt. 

so my entire effort of getting out of my childhood behavior which did not make me happy, taking too much responsibility as a child was misused by those who are very irresponsible and uncompetitive.

I must be very careful of choosing my people.