Memories in Ueno

Ueno

The diploma award ceremony for molecular nutrition was in Nihonbashi, so I looked for a place to stay nearby.

This time I stayed at HostelOwl, a small handmade capsule, but it was comfortable and next to a public bathhouse for only 2,500 yen. I would recommend it to climbers going to the Tokyo area.

https://www.hotel-owl.co.jp/

I used to stay at the Intercontinental for a month when I was in Wellington on business and at the CandlewoodSuite when I was in Kansas for a month.

https://www.ihg.com/candlewood/hotels/us/en/overland-park/mkcgv/hoteldetail

That's I had to stay in a hotel room all day long, working 16 hours at a desk, so I think it's worth it to pay this much.(Actually company took care of the cost)

From there, I grew to the point where I could complete staying in a tent stay all by myself in the mountains, even in -25C cold.

I've come a long way, come to think of it.

Confidence that no one can take away

So this is the confidence that no one can take away from me.

range of experience.

I have a wider range of experiences. It broadens our horizons. My perspective is much wider than normal Japanese, and that is my source of confidence.

I think that is the meaning of having experience and being adulthood.

If I were to stay in a hotel all the time, you will only know what's like this hotel and that hotels... I think it is boring.

Memories of Ueno

This time, after the diploma ceremony, I had dinner with climber friends in Ueno.

What made me happiest was that I was able to treat that older, senior climber to dinner.

I have excessive amount of love and I just want to love without  being taken advantage of.

The young climbers takes advantage of you and oversea climbers too. I am not that dumb.

This older climber supported me when I was trying to be an alpine climber. He still gives me advices and support me. When I went to Hatatate iwa middle ridge, he was my second climber.

It is a route that offers a miniature version of an alpine route, starting with rappelling but requiring route finding and in the top you will join in to hikers.

I still have a picture of it as a proud moment in my life. If I were to die, I would recall that moment and remember him as an important person who climbed with me.

Ueno

In Ueno, the cherry blossoms had not yet bloomed. I remembered that when I was in college, I came from Osaka to visit the art museum in Ueno to see an exhibition of Georgia O'Keeffe.

My childhood was full of good museum days. My mother was a graduate of the Tokyo Women's Institute of Fine Arts, so it was a tradition in my family to go see every major exhibition that came along. So the art museum and the forest attached to it became my home.

When I was in my first year of college, I was longing for Tokyo and visited a classmate from junior high school who had gone on to Hitotsubashi University, but was surprised to find a one-room apartment in a distant suburb (Machida) that was not Tokyo in name only....

My friend who went on to Waseda University lived in a boarding house near Toshimaen, which was not even a one-room apartment, and had a shared bathroom. I was surprised at how rural it was....

Seeing this, I was living in a student dormitory in Minoh, an hour by bus from the last train station in North Osaka, and I thought that the big city was just as far away from the city as if I were living outside of Osaka.

After seeing O'Keeffe's exhibition, I immediately went to work in the U.S. and lost all longing for Tokyo and the big city....I now prefer to be in a nature, country side.

It was as if, after visiting Laos or Ryu-dong, me losing interest in crags in Japan.

I was able to go back to Ueno, the place I had always longed to visit, and treat my senior who had taken care of me so well....

Thinking of my long and distant journey, I felt that I had grown up completely as an adult.

Yes, the age of crying and saying, "Help me Dad! " is over. 

I was no longer at the age of crying out.

Of course, seniors give us all kinds of life advice.

Especially as I myself am now at the age of starting to age, how I should face the rocks...those things, of course, are taught by those seniors who have already gone before me.

I have always thought so, but free climbing is, from the alpine point of view, just an Enjoyable Climbing after retirement (laughs). Nothing serious.

A young man took my picture.

In Ueno Park, where the cherry blossoms had not yet bloomed, there was one place where only one cherry tree was in bloom.

I wandered around there... because I wondered if someone would take a commemorative photo of me. That's what I was thinking.

Then, a young man in his twenties, who looked like a young, flirtatious guy, recognized me... and despite his appearance, he quickly understood and said, "Shall I take your picture?" I could tell that he was a very considerate man because of the way he said it, which was very easy to get into my mind and without any pretense.

People judge people by their appearance, and we learn this in our adult life... Of course, after my office worker days when I strolled around Marunouchi in a suit, we learn that people are influenced by their appearance, and if you want to get good service, you have to wear a good suit... And then, as an adult And as we grow up, we learn that looks don't matter....

Inner Father, Inner Mother

The mountains of Okuchichibu raised me: the Southern Alps and the Maeho North Ridge. The days in Shosenkyo.... The ascent of Mitsutoge. Climbing with Iwacchan in Okuchichibu and Ogawayama. The time with the late Mr. Yoshida. The days of multi climbing in Insubon. And ice climbing days.

My mother is the students who followed me in yoga.

【Beta】For Futagoyama （Limestone in Japan）

■　Home crag of the most famous Japanese climber Yuji

Futago yama crag is the home crag of the most famous Japanese top climber Yuji Hirayama. 

Futagoyama is the closest Lime stone crag from Tokyo, Japan, so here is how to get there. 

https://www.thecrag.com/en/climbing/japan/area/701582580

■　How to get to Chichibu

The crag is in town of Ogano, but the closet train station are; Chichibu Station or Seibu Chichibu.  

From Tokyo, you can take express train（９００yen extra） from Ikebukuro Stn. to Seibu Chichibu Station. 

Or you can also use Omiya station to come to Chichibu station. 

both takes about 2 hours, or bit less.

There are a lot of stores and tourist attractions in Chichibu such as Chichibu Jinjya, and supermarket, Onsen, hotels and gust houses. So you will not be in left alone in a desert... no worry. you can find a place to sleep so easily.

From Chichibu to the crag, you will need to drive, and I saw  a rental car agent just beside the station.

■　Accommodation

The town of Chichibu seemed to have a lot of inexpensive guest houses... 

This is my google search result:

Kamenoko

Nishiki

Chichibu Hostel

HataraCoLiving

■　Car Rental

Seibu Chichibu Station

https://24-rc.jp/shop/index.php?office_id=0050

https://saitama.rl-toyota.co.jp/rentalcar/shop_search/seibu_chichibu/

■　Temples You can visit by rented car

https://www.pref.saitama.lg.jp/b0112/kanko-tiiki-info/renta17.html

■　Climbing gym

https://www.town.ogano.lg.jp/crimeshin2/info/2024/03/295/

■　Local Crag Rule 　（https://www.oganoclimbing.com/%E8%A4%87%E8%A3%BD-%E4%BC%9A%E5%93%A1%E5%90%91%E3%81%91%E7%89%B9%E5%88%A5%E6%A1%88%E5%86%85%E6%97%A5%E3%81%AB%E3%81%A4%E3%81%84%E3%81%A6）

Climbing is a dangerous activity that can result in death or injury. Rocks are fragile in places and can move, peel, and fall. 

Also, the support points (bolts, termination points, etc.) placed on the rocks are not completely secure. Futagoyama has had many accidents involving fatalities and injuries due to slips and falls while climbing, and care must be taken when walking on the approach. 

Please fully understand the above and climb at your own risk. The following requests are made with respect for the history and culture of climbing in the area, while at the same time balancing the various conditions of the area. 

In principle, please do not walk on approaches where there are no footprints (to avoid distress and to protect the vegetation). 

Please do not walk at night without headlamps. 

Please do not descend the mountain alone at night. 

In principle, quickdraws and bolts may not be left in the climbing area for more than one season. 

Climbing gear (ropes, etc.) may not be left in the climbing area. 

Some climbing areas are equipped with only hangers with rings and no remaining carabiners. 

In such cases, please make sure you have mastered the rope tying technique. 

Do not take out (retrieve) carabiners left at the end point or carabiners left to prevent shaking. 

If you notice anything wrong with the bolts, please contact the Association as soon as possible. 

If you notice any unusual bolts, please contact the Association as soon as possible. ［Please refrain from climbing at night except in unavoidable circumstances. ［Please do not roll stones or rocks on the approach or slope into the valley. 

If you notice any floating rocks or missing holds on the route, please contact the Association immediately. 

［Please do not cut down trees. Please contact the Association in case of danger or other necessity. 

［Fires are strictly prohibited. 

［Please use the restroom before heading to the crag. Please use the restroom before heading to the crag. 

If you need to go to the crag in a hurry, please take your excrement and any waste (paper, etc.) with you. In principle, do not walk at night, with or without a headlamp. When walking for the first time, be sure to walk with an experienced walker. 

Please be very careful to avoid falling rocks, as there may be people below you. If you happen to cause a rock to fall, shout "Raku! If you see a falling rock, please shout "Rak! When parking, please make sure that there is enough space for emergency vehicles to pass, and that there is enough space for them to turn around. When parking, please be careful of rocks falling from the slope. 

In the event of an accident, please contact the people around you, or contact us at the following e-mail address. Kogano Climbing Association oganoclimbing@gmail.com www.oganoclimbing.com

Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

【心理学】DARVO shifting responsibility

Be Careful of The DARVO Manipulation Tactic

Stability of the mind 

I recently feel so much better than before... since I had a visit of my English speaking friend. He mentally stabilized me.  What he did? He had just listened to me. Also he talked his own problem too. 

I know this feeling... it was Saori, she was my high school best friend. We spend our high school like like twins... she hid me at her home since her parents come home late, running a noodle restaurant. 

My mom and my younger brother was abusive to me, thinking I should do all the house chore and called me "selfish" instead of splitting the chore with household members. I was taking care of the house and fixing food for everyone since I was 8.  That was a decision, called a infant decision in a phycology. I look at the situation, and mom is incapable, my siblings are incapable, I was only 8 but I was the only one who's possible... so I took the roll. 

But when I was 15, high school age, I decided, no more. Because  my younger brother was old enough, he was 13. My younger sister was 11. I waited for them extra 5 years compared to me.

I realize now, in climbing again, same thing had happened. Reverse responsibility. 

They call you "It is your own responsibility" when it is not. Bad bolts are not your responsibility and not being taught is not your responsibility. 

They use this word to get more benefit from me and try to use me as their benefit, when it is only their selfishness not mine. 

Switching who's selfish and making me  confused and freaked is  called "Gas lighting" in phycology...  it's a mental manipulation of others, and I was almost being used by my own mother and own siblings as a mean to make then alive. 

So this time, it was really hard to get over, since back then, I had Saori, but this time, someone I should be able to rely on... my husband became my enemy, not a friend. 

So my friend came over, he had no idea what so ever about climbing, and I told him what happened to my husband and me and with his reason, i.e. rational thinking, the situation seem as same as I saw, so I can trust my point of view...  My strongest traits is my adult ego, i.e. rationality, and if I had to doubt that... my intelligence and rationality, I feel very weak. 

Anyway, there is another term for this DARVO... Darvo is a short for 

Denial, Attack, Reverse, Victim Offender. 

This is exactly what had happened. This is keep appearing to me. 

When I was 15, Saori helped me to stay sane. 

Now, my friend is there. 

I was so close to being killed by stupidity...because I am too nice.

Stephen Gilligan's workshop 

I am on 4days seminar of Stephen Gilligan, today was the first day of that 4days. 

In my climbing activities, I was always in my zone, like some people experience runner's high. In my case, my ice climbing was my zone. 

With rock, it gets harder to me since it requires more finger power, so I moved on to trad.  That way, I don't need finger power, I can jam, so I was more of trad climber than sport climber...

I mostly climbed in Ogawayama, Mizugaki, Jyogasaki, and Syosenkyo. Especially Syosenkyo was memorable place for me.   

Anyway my main interest in climbing is to enter zone, and be connected to my inner self, which some people call it "inner god", and that leds me to Steve Long, of UIAA when I asked him to publish UIAA alpine summer in Japanese, that was an act of my inner god.  (Links here)

Kyusyu my born place

After coming here in Kyusyu, my inner god keeps saying me to stop climbing, it even created so many injuries... my right leg cuff torn, my right leg knee dislocated, and the last year my Achilles tendon had raptured... what is going on?    

In a 5 pitch 5.11 trad multi-pitches called Hakua slab, I was doing a second, and the lead climber had connected 25 m and 35m pitch in one, and our rope was 50 m single. We did not bring our backup rope because he was so proud of announcing we did it without backup! 

I was taken my sweet spot that I was sorry for him not being able to find a climbing mate.

In that connected pitch, I climb up about 5 m from my belay point to help him, so he will have a bit more rope lengths, I had no way of telling that he connected 2 pitches with 50 m rope.  When I got up, I saw we both were hanging on just one bolt and the bolt was something called cut-anchor, 40 year old and it strength is said to be 5kN much weaker than regular red Camelot, and we trad climber all know we never put our entire life on just one protection. 

25 + 35 is a way too  longer than 50 m, very obviously, so he had to stop climbing anyway, somewhere in a middle of the pitch. Without proper anchor... meaning two bolts in sport routes ... but we hang on just one cut-anchor. 

We barely survived this climbing but he mentioned on the spot,  

 "In retrospect, I should have gotten 60 m rope" ... 

Do you see how stupid this word is? 25 +35 is 60, so 60 m rope still will not do, obviously... how are you going to bult an belay point with? 

I never thought this dumb he could be... not just him, any other climbers... I knew they are pretty dumb but this dumb???

He must have not seen a topo(a guide book that climber use) so he is the worst kind of climber who will put his partner in death by neglecting a basic safety in climbing, such as seeing a topo before you go to a route. 

so I was having a hard time accepting his attitude as my own mistake of responding his request of doing a second for him... 

I felt kind of sorry for him because he asked because he had no one else but me.

At the same time, a flashback memory of my dad pushing me... 2years old,  into a water started.

My background 

I had lost my younger brother when he was 24, so I am extra sweet to young guys... and not very intelligent guy...because my bro was not intelligent type, he did not do so well academically.  

But I must stop reflecting my younger bro, to a rope partner, who can be the stupidest person I ever seen in climbing community.

Now I am very careful. Last time, someone from Costa Rica wanted to climb with me but I let her go. She had no rope with her. No car. No draw. Nor belay device. Just harness and shoes.

So today, in Steve Gilligan's workshop, I had built my connection to mountains and found out that my swimming was a metaphor of being incubated in a mother's womb... reconnecting to inner self or bigger self, so I can be better climber when it is done. 

I will swim in Kyusyu. 

That is where a good tradition of Asian good daughter is inherited.  Personally, Kyusyu's male tradition is disaster they still worship of 40 m runout in 5.8 when everyone can climb better nowadays. Who's life is worth of such easy routes?

So I must take care of this anger that I was almost killed and being used.

Take your time 

Take your time was a message I got, so I will take my time to heal this wounds. 

He had really damaged me. Me, my body, my soul, and my relationship with my husband...all at once it was endangered... 

What an evil soul I have seen in Kyusyu... it is so surprising to see a climber can be this bad when his ego of showing off is so strong. 

 

【回想】高い倫理観のこと、アメリカ暮らしのこと、デイビッドのこと

■デイビッドのこと

アメリカにいたころ、デイビッドという恋人がいました。

デイビッドは、私を妻にして家族を作り、その家族のために生きるという、自己犠牲をしたがっていた…妻と子供がいるから、という理由で、本来、彼がしたいと思っていない、親を喜ばせるような仕事…アッパーミドルクラスらしいホワイトカラーの仕事に就きたいと思っていた…のです。しかし、それは彼の本当の姿ではなく、彼はそうした仕事…ライスワークを軽蔑していました。もっと彼らしい何らかの仕事…使命があり、それが見つけられないまま、人生が過ぎていくのが、彼にはもどかしく、手っ取り早く、愛する家族ができれば、家族のために生きることが生きる目的になる…と考えていたのです。それは彼にとって逃げでした。

それが透けて見えていたので、私はデイビッドの生きがいを肩代わりするのが嫌だったのです。それで結婚しなかった…正確に言えば、したかったけれどできなかったのです。

というのは、私は赤ちゃんの時から、誰かの生きがいにされそうになり、ヤダ！と言って、生きる理由を本人にお返しする役だったからです。祖母、母、みな、「私はあなたのためにこうして自己犠牲して、生きているのよ」と言いたがりました。しかし、本当はそれは私のためではなく

　自分のため、

でした。なので、私は人の責任まで負うのがイヤだったのです。これは、赤ちゃんの時からそうです。前世で何かがあったんでしょうかね？

デイビッドは、エリートの父親との確執を抱えていました。彼の父親は貧しい生まれから、軍隊に行ってダブルメジャーで大学を卒業し、AT＆Tの幹部にまで登り上げたアメリカンドリームの体現者でした…よくジュネーブの出張でスイス人などの若者をカリフォルニアの家に連れて帰ってきていました…それで、良くお客さんがいるからおいで、と呼ばれて家に遊びに行っていました。　

モラガと言えば、名の知れた富裕地帯でした。その前はもっと富裕層の住むアラモにいたから、私にとっては特別感心するようなことはなかったのですが…。モラガに家がある、と言えば、誰もが、うらやましがるようでした。

デイビッドはそうしたアッパーミドルの暮らしに疑問を持って、当時は哲学科に属してミッションディストリクトに住んでいました。私と会ったのもミッションでしたが、ミッションは、ヒスパニックのエリアで、時に白人のデイビッドにとっては危険でした。私にとっては安心でも…。

それで二人で、もっと安全で大学に近いエリアに引っ越しました。住んでいたのは、シェアハウスで、一回にはジムおじいさんがいました。ここでの暮らしは安定していて楽しく、幸せでした。

デイビッドは大阪に来てくれ、そして孤独からアル中になってしまった…そのことで私は長い間、デイビッドの人生を狂わせて、申し訳ない思い…罪悪感を持っていました。

私は、アメリカで、本当は私は暮らしたかったので、アメリカのことを考える度に、なぜあの時さっさとアメリカ暮らしを選ばなかったのか？と思います。…というのは、デイビッドは、きっと私がグリーンカードのために、彼と結婚したとしても許してくれたからです。実際、彼は、中国人の女性と後日、結婚し、それは、ほとんど結婚詐欺でした。

でも、そうしたテクニックを使うことが、私には汚い手に思え

　

　汚い手を使って得た人生ならいらない、

と思ってしまうタイプなのです…　おとめ座だから潔癖症です。

それはクライミングにも表れており、私のクライミングは、虚構があまりありません…　

 汚い手を使って得たグレードやルート、山ならいらない

それこそが私の弱さであり、強さでもあります。

いつか、私は死ぬ前にもう一度デイビッドに逢って、互いの運命のめぐりあわせについて語り合いたいと思っています。彼とは本当に心でつながれた関係でした。

■　David and I

I had a boyfriend when I was in the states. David was a man who wanted to have a reason to live and a reason to have a upper middle class life style as his father...which he denied and yarned at the same time...

Father and son relationship is difficult. His father was a great father, who has achieved American dream... from us army to double major at uni, and then be an executive in AT&T... George was a powerfull successful man. But David was a sensitive person.

He came to Osaka, to live with me when I went back to do my rest of years in my university... but he became alcoholic out of solitude. He had no one else to talk to...but me.

I felt guilty about this for so long time... I wanted to marry him, but I did not want to be a reason for him to live, it is too much responsibility, and I can not owe that much...

My mom, and my grandmother, wanted to live for me, as a child, but I did not like it, I wanted them to live their own lives, and enjoy their own lives... I felt so even as a baby...

so I tried to be an adult super quickly... so no one need to live for me. or limited their lives, because of me.

A person should live the full potential of their own lives... that is my wish, since I was just a baby...

I miss him a lot and I wish to talk about how our lives turned out when I have a chance...

He was a true friend of mine...

【Old climbers and mental disease】

 ■ Shocking! a book called "The Toxic Mother"

I picked up this book, thinking that maybe my mother was a narcissist....................................shocking revelation....

Read it. Then...I found out.

My mother was a typical "narcissistic mother".

■ Free climbing is so unforgiving.

My mental resistance to step toward free climbing... was because I knew  I would be told, "5.9? Climb 5.10. 5.10? Climb 5.11!"  it is endless... you are never be enough.

I started climbing when I was 41 years old, and it seems like a great accomplishment to be able to onsight a 5.9 at 43, did a second climber in Insbon at 46, go climb alone in Laos, so does in trad in Taiwan? Doesn't it?

I can also lead climb ice 5th about 20 to 30 m. If second, 55m X 3 times was easy job.

Do you still say, "Push your limit" to a lady who's going on late middle age? 

The free climbing world, currently going on, will not forgive you for that. 

You know, people can not grow endlessly, that is a myth. We are human. 

So, in my mind, I've already climbed one 11 onsight (so I have already reached my goal), and I don't see the point of going any higher in grade, by reducing finger skin, weight loss strategy, or strength training in the first place....

You have to have bent fingers if you are climber, prove it!! 

That's is the nasty challenge the climbing world confronts to you. That is a threat. 

As a result, so many people are mentally ill..

When I was climbing 5.9, people who were climbing 10c was super bossy,  with her onsight theory, but when I started to climb 10c, I was  even not allowed to loosen the reins... not just that, people asking me taking a leadership for the crag... 

They are shifting their responsibility to me. Because they think I am easy target.

Isn't this "endless striving" feeling the same as in the days of studying for entrance examinations?

So everybody is a looser. No one really feel the feelings of accomplishment they deserve.

If I were a teenage competition climber, even I'd say, "Why don't you work harder while you still can? " 

But that is because so you can climb in old age. 

 I don't think I would be aiming to win a competition at the age of 41.... 

I don't think it's such a bad result to be 5th in the Iwane ice competition, which I only participated in because I wanted to see if I could make it out.

I didn't understand why you wanted to involve me, a slowest starter, in such a silly competition... Tell me when you are at the top...

Adult climbing is self-satisfying from the start. 

Not number one, nor only one.

■ Thanks to my narcissistic partner

I noticed my mother's narcissism because I worked with a partner who was highly narcissistic and I saw similarities in their behavioral patterns...

Huh? This person is just like my mother...? This was the event that happened....

So, it's the same as saying that I appreciate illness and injury. It means that they are there to make me aware.

This book sums it up and makes sense. 

Enabling had happened again... Hakua slab

Complimentary and enabling 

Enabling is a very famous concept in Alcoholic treatment…　when someone is alcoholic, there is someone who is enabling him/her to be alcoholic... i.e. dependent. 

My mom needed an assistant for raising her kids, and I took the position of "little housewife", so she can work... that was enabling, ie. enabling her to be full time worker, because as a household we needed a full income.  so the relationship with me and my mom was complimentary... 

I had realized this unhealthy parenting when my mom, started to request me that I take a full responsibility in a household. I was putting up my situation as an oldest child as a temporary states, the responsibility on the household should be shared by all of the members in my family, but she made it look like it was my sole responsibility... 

I had fallen into the relationship of enabling again in my climbing activities, I am very good at rope and belaying or risk managements  in severe situation, and the last of my climbing partner lacks to it...he did not seem to interest in learning the safety in climbing only because I am good at... so I felt he is very dependent, without realizing he is so... with the lead climbing  in Hiei, the white slab, he could not pull up a full lengths of the rope, so I could not free-climbed the pitch. As I climbed, I saw the cam he had set was in a wrong position so the rope was stuck. That is why the rope was not up. He did not seem to understand the mistakes he made. 

The last pitch he made a belay station with just one bolt, and it was 40 year old cut anchor, so there is not enough strengths... this time again I had to aid climb for him since he connected 2 pitches in one, and the rope was short for that... you can not connect 25 m and 35 m pitch when you have only 50 m rope, that is a simple sum that anyone can do, but he did it so... later I realized that he did not check with the topo guide before he climbed nor understood basic sum of rope climbing... he was perhaps not well educated in climbing also, the purpose for him to climb was to look brave, falsely brave, so he can impress everyone. I managed somehow with this climb, since I was handed down the skills to survive such poor climbing... by my two climbing mentors, especially the first one... anyway, it took me a while to realize, I am complimenting him so that poorly prepared climbers keep pouring into me, so I should look like "non-educated" instead of "well-educated" so they don't rest on my efforts... 

... well what I want is competing relationship in safety management in climbing. So I can explore my own horizon of climbing, without risking my life.   

Competitive mind is not my cup of tea usually, but if you fail to manage safety in climbing, that will be straight death.  

Anyway, I now understood what's complimentary and symmetrical... so I would be using it in my session.

Nestcafe... Aki's place.... my favorite girlfriend is running a restarurant

The most valuable discovery during my Achilles tendon rupture and subsequent surgery on March 1st was a newfound resilience. 

Living and getting by became an immense challenge, with the need for a crutch preventing me from even going shopping.

My husband who had no intention of helping, he offered little assistance in action, I maintained my independence despite the injury that confined me. 

This saddened me, as I had always been the caregiver in my relationships. 

Not just with him, but in my youth, I played the role of "another small mommy" for my siblings when my own mother needed help raising us. 

When faced with financial difficulties, I had to turn down expectations and prioritize my own education, since my mom gets so used to the idea that I help her always. In reality, it is unrealistic for a young girl at age 18 to work for siblings. 

In the realm of climbing, I took on the responsibility of guiding newcomers, organizing knot learning classes, and facilitating the transfer of skills through the involvement of climbing guides. 

Transitioning through my husband's job transfers meant sacrificing my own beloved jobs, challenging the perception of the importance of my work, as others assumed my husband was the caretaker.

The difficulty in being understood by others stemmed from the misconception that my husband was taking care of me, when in reality, it was often the opposite. The dynamic of who takes care of whom is complicated, especially when money plays a predominant role in society.

My connection with Aki, the owner of the restaurant I frequent, has become a source of solace. Aki, like me, is a strong and caring individual facing challenges in her business due to a recent move. I find myself supporting her not just for the sake of the restaurant but because we share a similar understanding of each other's struggles.

Our regular gatherings offer a space for candid conversations, allowing us to discover parallels in our lives. Recently, I pointed out a severe problem Aki was facing. she gave me a rice ball. One of my friend pointed out that my husband is "married to his work" instead of me, provided me a perspective.

so everyone once in a while, need a mirror and that mirror is your friend. 

As I navigate a challenging transition from being a technical writer to a yoga teacher, I am facing struggles alone. I need a confidence but how can I be confident?  Female in Japan are oppressed and has every reason to take our confidence away.. 

.Despite my husband's determination not to offer support, Aki has emerged as a great companion in this journey, demonstrating that relationships can form in unexpected places.

In Aki's restaurant, where everyone seems to share my experiences, I bring my friends, finding a sense of community and understanding that has been elusive elsewhere.

Tohriyama Coffee: Some beautiful things happening...

English 

I intended to write my diary as usual, but I realized I cannot write in Japanese. It is not the language that seems fitting for what I am trying to express. 

So, taking advantage of knowing two languages, I decided to write in English today. For me, English is the language for expressing emotions. 

Yesterday was a beautiful day. 

Scar

I took a family with a baby to Matsukuni, a shared farm of natural farming. There, I met many people who still remembered my name. I had forgotten their names on the contrary. 

I had forgotten almost all the people's names there while I took 6 months off for my ankle injuries. Before the injury, I was so into farming and loved the style. But eating just vegetables led me into nutritional deficiency, made me depressed, also made me very weak physically.

So I had contradicting feelings about natural farming. 

Also, she... I forgot her name... someone who reminded me of a "typical good mother"  in Kyushu...  well, I don't know how to express the feeling. It was at least a shock to me, reminding me of the scar of injustices and betrayal that I had as a child. 

I felt very keen rejection towards her, not from her side, from me. I felt she was just "pretentious" to be a good mother figure, not really a good one. 

Being a good mom is her wish, not for the kids, which was exactly how I felt for my own mom. 

Oh, yeah, I know why I don't remember people's names now. 

I started to suppress my mind to protect my heart from being broken. I erased memory. 

But actually, people were there nice as usual. I was about to bury even some good memories of them too. 

The couple I took was very nice and seemed impressed with the idea of natural farming. I was so glad I took them there. 

Toriyama coffee

I did not know why, but I felt kind of tired, so I went to a nearby coffee shop, Toriyama Coffee, a recent favorite of mine. 

There, I had a really good talk with the cafe's owner, Kazu, or Taisho. 

There was a lady customer when I entered a cafe, and she seemed very withdrawn to me. 

In that particular cafe, people talk to each other; that is the reason why I like it.

Unlike other typical Japanese cafes, people sitting next to each other do not talk to each other at all. 

There, everyone's friendly and talks to each other, sort of like in the US. I know some people say the reason why people in the US are so friendly to each other is because they are trying to make sure you are not their enemy... but why not? 

I had a great time in the US 30 years ago, as a young adult when I had no idea at all about how the world works, and I learned American style as a young women starting her life for the first time. I lived in a poor community and a wealthy community, and for both, the key to safety was people skill. 

Kazu, the Taisho, he noticed that I am very tired, immediately. 

Then he listened to me and shared a conversation with that very quiet lady whom I did not know how to talk to... she had responded without any resistance... 

he's got great people skills. 

HSP 

I asked him how he does it. 

He said he's HSP, he's afraid of being disliked so much, he developed how to open people's minds. 

Wow! 

That is what Milton Erickson had been admired for, and how he cured people of the most severe mental disorders... 

I asked some further questions on his people skills and how he does things. He seemed a natural born with the skill; he'd been depressed when he was young, and his doctor put him on medicines for the mental disorder... he's been through the process of getting better, he gained the skills... 

For me, I am the kind of person who tends to say, "Let's go! Let forget the past and see the future" so I am protecting myself by not thinking my scar so deeply... maybe. 

Now so far, the great skill of his is used for the customers, and everyone gets friendly there, and leave there somehow feeling better... 

In a way, he is giving a cure to people's broken hearts. For the price of a cup of coffee. 

I was hurt and I know it

On saying goodbye for the day, he said he misses me going back to Osaka, and that was so nice and ringer to my mind... 

I'd been there only a few times. We only see each other at the cafe so my attachment to him was, I thought, from only my side. I liked him so much I gave him my old MTB. 

I liked him because I lost my young brother when he was only 24. 

I liked him because he was the same age as Matthew, an American child I took care of when he was only 6 years old. He would be as old as 35 now. 

So my liking Taisho was only the reflection from my side, I knew. 

So this was a surprise to me he gave me back the same "Like". 

If you don't know where you're going, any road takes you there... if you don't know where to place your attachment, any person takes your attachment for their own use... they betray you, by using it un fairly...injustice.

My mom... was the first one who took advantage of my attachment towards her to fulfill her ego. 

Not all people... not all people... Taisho might be safe... 

Now my mind goes towards the people who came to my yoga class for seeking the cure for their minds... people come to a yoga class for that.  People can be quite open to a Yoga teacher. 

Isn't it scary? 

To give so much, without expecting to get it back? Yes, it is scary... 

You do have a risk of getting a rejection. 

But what is there for you to lose? Your heart. 

You can lose your love by being used... see what had happened to me in climbing? I was used, my kindness was used, and not just all that, my life was about to be taken away... only because I was so kind to my climbing partner... I was hurt, and that hurt made me depressed... made me wish to die. 

Betrayed? Yes. 

Do I have to cry aloud? And let go of my anger? Yes. 

Do I have to seek revenge? No. It's in vain. 

Do I have to heal my wound? Yes. 

How? I have no idea. 

Maybe coming to this cafe? 

You can be more

On saying goodbye, I pointed out that he can be possibly larger... that was all I can give to him, also all I had as a mentalist... 

People in Japan create a glass ceiling somehow by themselves. They tend to think "I am a small car" when they can be a big truck or a bus. 

It had happened to me too... I took myself so small and said no to the gift that life had given to me... like the BMS trad fes or an invitation to join Telecom New Zealand...or living in the US...  

I know it does not come from personal childhood experience, it comes from being a good Japanese. We are taught to be humble and that includes not to take a big chance since a good person does not do so... but in reality, when those "chances" come, they come not to YOU, they come to your inner self, inner DIVINE, so you have to take it. 

Taking it is good for everyone. or should I say, it maximize the use of you as a human to the world... you are only responsible finding a good usage of yourself so you can help the world to be a better place. 

He said, "Your words stunned me." Did I hurt him? 

If so, it was not intentional; it was meant to... not to minimize oneself just to be a good Japanese,  people should become who meant to be... so that was my intention.

【How to】How to avoid unsafe climbers

 Unsafe climbers = someone who learnt to climb from friends

I was being asked to go climbing with by a climber who has no rope nor ATC. Being puzzled since I never dreamed of going to travel without a rope and expecting to climb,  I asked advices to climbing community overseas. The answer was to say no to such climber. 

Someone in Canada taught me this is also happening a lot in overseas including Canada, 

It's maybe a shortage of Educational institutions to teach climbing properly.

This time, I found out that a proper climber is someone who learnt climbing in educational institution... (I myself learnt in Sangaku sougou center)

You can tell by their gear that they are not well educated.

I didn't know what to do with a guest climber who said she doesn't have a rope nor ATC, so I asked the international climbing community, "What do you guys do?" 

I found that the consultation itself was a question that could separate the climbers who were doing it safely from the ones who weren't.

Difficulties

The difficult thing is,  that nobody carries a full set of gear while travelling.

But without a rope... Rope is a vital piece of gear, and without it, you can't climb at all.

But someone who already established "trustworthy relationship" like long time partner, would say, 

  "you can come without a rope this time" 

often, just to be nice. But still that is an offer, not your right. 

If you are already in a relationship of mutual trust, you might say: 'This time you are exempt from the rope', but that is only when you are so sure having just one rope does not decrease the safety.

My background 

I come from ice climbing background, but I rarely climbed with my own rope while climbing with my mentor, because he has gotten a 120m rope, meaning more convenient for 55m ice fall. 

Nevertheless, every time I go climb with him, my rope was in my pac. I never showed up without it.  When I lead, of course, I climbed with my own rope.

A single 120m rope is technically easier so using that rope was a part of risk management. 

It was less risky than connecting two 60 m ropes, as there are no knot to connect them. If there is a knot, your belay gets complicated.

That was our mutual understanding. And I bought a belay device to match his rope. 

Choosing a rope Length ... no1 risk control

Even at ordinary rock crags, a well-educated climber will check the length of the route or problem he wants to lead, and bring a rope that is suitable for that length. It is a primary risk management.

In general, in Japan, 50 metres used to be sufficient, but nowadays 60 metres is often required.

If you don't want to have a missing stopper knot accidents.

Back up rope?

If you're as clever as a climbing guide, you may have a 30m lightweight rope tucked away in your backpack, just in case. This is because it serves as a backup in case the main rope gets stuck or something.

When you say, "Oh no, I've got the rope stuck", you can not get it out...in such case, someone say, "I've got the back up rope", this is a truly cool guy!

Having no rope is forgivable, but no ATC is not.

Well, even in the international climber group, the advice from the proper climbers was "tell that travelling climber to keep travelling".

However, 70% of the climbers who travelled without ropes were so forgiving, it is a kindness toward a beginner.  Because everyone was once a beginner, those who relied on the goodwill of other climbers... including myself.

Climbing on the goodwill of others paying nothing on your side, you can still improve your climbing grades but not a climbing skill itself...it takes your positive effort of trying to learn risk management.

Climbing grades do not indicate anything about that person's risk management skill and the risk management skill is what protect you. 

It is not your grade nor expecting the strangers to have a good will without a concrete reason.

However, it should be noted that even within such a lax community,

　No ATC is not allowed as a climber.

Having no rope seems already out of the question to me, but no ATC... is NONO to everyone. No matter what kind of lax climbing community you are in.

Checking unconscious assumptions.

Rather than verbal communication, non-verbal communication is important, such as,  "not bringing gear" or "the way the person talks", are more indicative of what kind of climber they are. This is a true indication of the climber.

What I am currently researching is this unconscious assumption.

  Assumption = unconscious.

so people take it for granted and often push that to the others.

Example:

　No rope = unconscious assumption is that every rope is 100% safe.　

　→ Actually, no.

　No ATC = unconsciousness is that all ATC are all the same.　

 → In reality, the rope and ATC has compatibility.

Another possible assumption about not bringing an ATC is,

　not wanting to belay,

This is probably more likely to be the case. This is probably top reason for climbers to be disrespected.

Belaying is a climber's duty and belayers are climbing gear.

You are in a position to be chosen as a belayer, and unless you are chosen, you cannot go climb.

Climbing with everyone together?

Many bad risk management cases are often seen in,

　Climbing with many others.

The case: climbing with others in a bad climbing school.

A climbing school was conducting an ice climbing course with frozen ropes... The rope was coated with ice like a macaroni cheeses... This is not a good idea.

Climbing with bunch of others is fun, but probably the most inappropriate relationship for learning risk management since you don't think you are responsible.

You'd think it's OK because a lot of other people are doing it, or it's probably safe since no one is pointing out ... 

But in reality, frozen rope is nono, and it can make you lose your grip on the belay.

These are such kinds of things that, if your standard of safety is compromised and you keep compromising and then, it will lead you an accident later.

For example, when you're climbing solo, you're on a bit of an old rope and it's frozen because you used it in a rock, but you do a top rope solo anyway, thinking, "Well, it'll be fine"... That's how my mentor fell, his gear didn't bite the rope and he had a ground fall.... And such times, even if there were lots of people in the vicinity, he would find himself in a blind spot and not be able to be seen and found. And there, you can't even get a wire of mobile phone, and it's -20 degrees!  He had a serious lumbar fracture, but it took him a long time to be found, and he survived one out of nine lives.

After that, he was very careful with his rope, it was ice climbing-specific rope with a good coating, and after each climb, he applied a coating to replenish the coating. I have inherit that from his habits.

The rock version

On the cragging, it is particularly important to match the diameter of the rope to the belay device. 

My rope is soft and flexible to best match to my lead with my light weight, so it is too stretchy for another climber with a heavier weight to lead. The rope will be hurt and that heavier climber will not be safe.

In Japan, the bolts distance are often sooooo far apart, nearly runout,  so extra stretch can be fatal. I have seen the climber fell in 3rd clip and the belay was totally proper but the fall still ended up to be a grounder.  It was a Kyusyu's crag. The climber had spinal fracture. He's got no one else to blame, it's his responsibility.

Partnership can back fire

Once we are in the crag, the principle of partnership is naturally more important than who's rope to climb. 

So if your partner showed up without rope, you will end up offering your rope. 

So whether if it's a poor lead, such as your rope rubbing against the rock corner and peeling off the outer skin, or a fall factor 2 that is super hard on the rope, you have to rend the rope as a partner. That is considered obligation. 

I'm not going to complain, No climber would complain about that. I am to explain why a beginner take it for granted.

Therefore, a climber who has never been on the offering end of a rope himself will never be aware of the burden or responsibility on the offering the rope.

It's same as people who think that renting your car is free, but in reality, the maintenance costs involved, actually. So it's just a free rider. Like when your are still a kid, you never imagine that how much your parents had to pay just to keep the house running.

In the end, they are not only ungrateful, but also gets mad at you when you refuse.  This is a one way goes to another.  

The best way to avoid this is to avoid climbers who are at a stage where they don't have that imagination. Accidents can happen to anyone, but one can not imagine that, i.e. a beginner, will invite a accident unneccesarily.

It is the minimum requirement to have your own gear for climbing. Anything short, say no to be on a safe side unless you know the person in deep...and the person has a reasonable reason to get away with it.  

Ofcourse it is ridiculous to tell the long time partner to bring his own rope when you know he's just visiting you and trying to belay you for a day to be nice. 

This is the letter I sent. 

ーーーーーーー

I had canceled XX　cragging with my friends. It is too risky to take you there, and the crag only needs a good reputation for local tourism, not a risk.

You have made it clear that you have no intention of bringing your own rope.

Well, I can compromise, but you have neither an ATC nor your own belay device.

I cannot compromise on that. 

I've already had enough trouble to know that Japanese crags are not like overseas ones; they require a certain mentality to be safe. Otherwise, you are risking your life.

I cannot put you in such a position without knowing what's going on.

I am so sorry; it was my misjudgment that I misunderstood you as an independent climber. My judgment is that you don't have the readiness that our crags require.

This is an HP for finding a climbing guide. I hope you have good luck!

ーーーーーーーーー

A Climber sue a climbing community

This is an robot translation of the ogano climbing community is being sued

 ---------

In 2022, a man from Tokyo who crashed and broke both legs while climbing Mt Futago (1166 m) in Ogano, Saitama, a famous climbing spot, filed a lawsuit against the Ogano Climbing Association, which maintains the crag, and the town, claiming that the crag was not properly managed, and seeking compensation and other compensation of 1.65 million yen, The association and the town have filed a lawsuit in the Saitama District Court, Kawagoe branch, demanding compensation and other damages of 1,650,000 yen. The association and others are contesting the case on all fronts. With climbing becoming increasingly popular, the development of the lawsuit, which seeks to hold the association responsible for the management of accidents that occur at the crag, is attracting attention.

The association, established in October 2008, is a general incorporated association that promotes climbing and maintains crags. It is chaired by world-famous climber Yuji Hirayama (54). The town promotes the revitalisation of the town through climbing and has appointed Mr Hirayama as a tourism ambassador.

　The accident occurred in the early afternoon of 25 September 2010 at a crag called Candle Rock on Mt Futagoyama Nishidake. The man was 59 years old at the time and a 30-year climbing veteran. A bolt on the crag, to which a rope was attached to support his body, came loose and the man fell approximately 5 metres downwards.

In his complaint, he alleged that the association established the route where the accident occurred and installed the bolt, and that the location and type of buried bolts were inappropriate. It states that the association, which is responsible for the development and rehabilitation of climbing routes on Mt Futago, had a duty of care and duty of management to maintain the safety of the route where the accident occurred. It also states that the association is involved in the activities of the town, among other things.

The first oral arguments were held on 24 August, with the association stating that 'climbing is a dangerous sport. The town submitted a written defence, stating that climbing at Futagoyama is not a town development project.

　The man had three operations and was hospitalised for 55 days after the accident, and was out of hospital for two months. He is seeking compensation and other compensation as approximately 1 million yen in medical expenses were paid by his accident insurance.

Hirayama won the overall free-climbing World Cup in 1998 and 2000. He also worked as a TV commentator at the Tokyo Olympics in 2009.

'Not a town-building project'?　The association's president is a tourism ambassador.

　The plaintiff man is demanding that the Kogano Climbing Association and the town jointly and severally pay compensation. The town claimed in its written answer that it had nothing to do with the association, and has made statements to the same effect at council meetings. However, the history of the association's establishment and its stance of positioning "climbing as a town revitalisation project" raises some questions.

According to the article "Futagoyama Nishidake Regeneration & Development" contributed by Yuji Hirayama in the 90th issue of the specialist magazine "ROCK & SNOW" (published in December 2020), the town councillor, Koya Takahashi, dug up a proposal for town revitalisation through climbing that Hirayama had proposed about 10 years ago, which led to an interview with the mayor, Shintaro Mori. At the town's request, he was appointed as a tourism ambassador, and since May 2006 he has been working with the town to promote the town's revitalisation.

　In a May 2007 press release, Mayor Mori also listed 'revitalising the town through climbing' as a new project, citing Mt Futago as an example, and stating that 'Ogano Town can be proud to be known throughout the country as a climbing town'. The paper also stated that the town would redevelop the Shin Yi Kan, a memorial centre for friendship with China, which was given to the town free of charge by the prefecture, as a base facility with the cooperation of Hirayama and others.

Mayor Mori has stated in council meetings (e.g. at the March 2009 regular meeting) that he is aware that the association is a private organisation with no connection to the town, but he attended the association's activity policy briefing in January 2011 and also addressed the meeting. Given this situation, a town official said, "Mr Hirayama is paid a fee for his cooperation in the operation of the Shinjikan, so the town may not be able to say that he has nothing to do with the association. Teruyama Tetsushi

---------

【Psychology】 Learning to forgive who used me for their ego and almost killed

Learning to forgive

It was incredibly hard for me to forgive the climbers who almost killed me because of their ego and ignorance.

It started even before I came to Kyushu, where climbing is 40 year backward compared to Ogawayama, which is considered "The camp4" of Japan. I learned climbing in Kofu (and surrounding areas like Saku, Nagano), where every serious young climber wants to move into. That is considered a climbing mecca.

Then, I came to Kyushu, where aid climbing is still considered the normal alpine rock style. Since there are no high mountains in Kyushu, there is no "real" alpine style, no snow nor ice,  only mock climbs, mainly slab climbing like in Hiei, there is no trad crags. 

As a result, even alpine climbers don't learn how to set their own protections; they simply follow the preset protections that are over 40 years old cut-anchor and too rustic, even for aid climbing.

So, you can imagine the situation. Trusting the bolts is not recommended, and hanging on the bolts is also risky. This means the only safe climbing option is similar to free soloing. For the safety reason, 5.12 is required to lead a route 5.9.

A man who pulled me down on a wall

When I was a beginner, I used to go to an artificial climbing wall every Wednesday night for about half a year, solely to improve my belay skills, not for my climbing ability. Using the artificial climbing wall was the only way to safely learn how to catch a fall.

Then, there was a climber who pulled me down; he tightened the rope when I needed slack. That climber was from Kyushu. At that time, another climber felt bad for me and offered his belay for me.

Now I think, he was educated in Kyushu, which means there was no proper education on climbing safety.

A man who dropped me at a crag

The second time I was almost killed was back in Kofu, my home crag. I was with this guy for the first time, and he was proud that he climbed as hard as 5.12. I assumed he must be experienced in the industry. The route was familiar, and it was my 4th time leading it, so I didn't wear my helmet, which turned out to be a bad decision.

I set my first draw and then, instead of going left like usual, I decided to try going right, and that's when I fell. I hit the ground and cut my head, resulting in 7 stitches. The photo was taken when I returned home from the hospital.

The belayer was testing his new belay device, a click-up, which was supposed to catch falls without much skill. However, the device failed to work properly or he had just too much slack.

Those two incidents didn't break my heart but at least made me more careful and doubtful. It's not that I can't forgive those guys, but there are some things I just can't forget. This guy was also from Kyusyu.

What I could not forgive… An egoist

Then I came to Kyushu, where climbing is so backward. In my first year, I went back to Ogawayama to climb because I had no climbing partner here, so I didn't fully understand how dangerous the crags (and climbers) are in Kyushu.

In 2019, I climbed with my new mentor, a 74-year-old well-known old-school developer climber whom I had admired as a reader. He had a book. It was a delight to meet him in person, and he told me he still taught climbing to university students in the club.

I felt bad for him and offered my assistance. We went to Kagoshima one day, and before I even started climbing, I injured my right calf due to five hours of driving alone. Normally, climbers take turns driving to distant crags, but this time I drove all the way while he only sat there. I didn't mind.

What was not okay was his response when I told him about my injury: "That is not what I want." He didn't offer any help or even acknowledged my pain. So, I took him to a hostel so he won't be lost in some countryside and told him I was driving back home to Fukuoka to see a doctor, a full five hours alone. It was already two days after the incident and the pain was unbearable. So it took me 3 days to get medical attention for my injury.

This incident caused me a serious mental damage. I was very sad that my good intentions had turned into such a nightmare. I tried so hard to convince myself that it was due to his age, not his personality, nor intention, but my efforts were meaningless. He was also unkind to his wife.

People's true personalities show when bad things happen. That is when you know who is your enemy and who is your friend. To accept this reality took me a long time.

The second heartbreak; a narcist

The second incident was during the "Hakua Slab" climb in 2019, just before I go to Long Dong. My ex-partner, whom I had known since I was a total beginner, didn't seem to understand the importance of safety... I had been with him only a few times back in Kofu, before I came to Kyusyu, mainly I was trying to include him to my climbing mates since I was with good people with experience and rescue knowledges. My intention was so he can learn from them. I paid to gain my skills in the mountain in Nagano, taking a year long course, which is not for everyone...there is a screening to join, so I wanted to share.

He was the kind of person who was happy to be called the man closest to heaven, which is NOT a compliment in climbing, obviously; it's a warning for other climbers to stay away. So I was kind of sorry to him. Must be having a hard time finding a partner.

During the Hakua Slab multipitch climb, he connected pitch 4 and 5, which was obviously the rope is going to be short because we were climbing 25m and 35m with 50m single. 

As a result, we had to hang on just one bolt, which was a notorious cut-anchor(then we did not know. We were too new) and the cut anchor is known to have a strength less than a No2 Camelot cam for protection. I did not think he was going to use a bolt because we got some sets of cams.  Not just connecting the pitches, in the previous pitch, the rope was not up because he placed a cam to a wrong place, so the rope get stuck, so I had to self-arrest while climbing as a second. This kind of bad lead will never happened when I was climbing with my climbing mentor. 

Also, going back to the ground was impossible since rappelling requires double the rope length, but we had only one 50m single rope. Looking back, it was insane to attempt a multipitch climb with just one rope, but I did not realized it before the climb since I was attached to him already and was OK in the crags so trusted him since we had been climbing together for about half a year. 

In Japan the senior climber in a party decides things, and the one who climb better grade is the senior. So in retrospect he did not listen to my advice who climbs 5.1XX.. then since he climbs 5.12xx. Not just me, no girl can make him listen nor any experienced climber.

This climb left a deep scar in my heart, as I trusted him so naively and he endangered myself and himself, just to show off his climbing skills.

All he wanted was an honor. Such a sad person...

The conclusion

In both cases, my good intentions were met with disappointment. 

These incidents left me depressed for a long time, I actually was seeing a doctor last year of this season,  and I also suffered a knee injury, dislocated my right knee,  that took almost three years to heal. I guess I didn't want to climb with those people so much that my emotions turned into physical injury, and I lost interest in climbing altogether.  I don't think climbing worth my life.

I was scared that their personality immaturity would lead them to ask me to belay them again(they actually did), putting me in a difficult position to turn down their requests because they don't understand what they did wrong — ignoring an injured partner is bad behavior and a lack of rope planning is such an armature mind, which almost killed me; the both are not a small mistake nor inevitable mistake. It's more like their choice.

Moreover, they are not capable of acknowledging their mistakes, because that is who they are, their personal values... your ego is heavier than a injured partner, and your honor of climbing Hakua slab with 50m single is more important than safety... which means there's no hope for correction.

The Hakua Slab experience only boosted his confidence instead of teaching him a lesson. There were signs of this before, like when his 3 cams popped out during a fall, but he didn't learn from it; it only made him more confident.

I felt alone in this situation. My husband does not climb so he is no way of knowing my suffering. The people in Kyusyu is the same tribe as who gave me this pain. 

So no one seemed to understand the gravity of these incidents to me in Kyushu. Everyone was on their side, lacking compassion for me. In fact, they kept calling me a chicken only because I refused to take unnecessary risks, like falling on 40-year-old cut anchors or on the first pin. 

I concentrated on letting out my emotions in my blog to stay sane, but the more I wrote, the more I realized the darkness in their minds, not mine.

Actually I felt I am pretty good climber with proper education and risk sense. They are the odd ball not me.

Wise people stay away from bad people

For the climbers in Kyusyu, it is natural for them to fall easily on 40 year old cut anchor just because everyone else does it.  

But that is against what I was told... when in doubt, take No3 (the third point to the anchor) and never do easy fall unless you have taken 3 quick draws was my education.  Never lend your rope. Never let go of your break hand, test your protection before you put your weight on it.... those teaching has never convinces Kyusyu's climbers.  They insisted it was safe with them, but it was hard to be convinced, unless you were a fool. 

See these photo of removed bolts.

There won't be a second time of dropping me on the ground due to the lack of attention. 

There won't be a second time of him going to a multi-pitch climb with me, even with two ropes. 

Because they will never learned from the experiences. That's their values and personality.  The climbing community shares the same values in Kyusyu. The safe climbing is considered chickened climbing for them. Who is going to do it?

Everyone avoids confronting the outdated culture out of fear of being called a chicken from the community

So it was very hard to face the fact that they will never change and there is no way of climbing in Kyusyu... unless I bent my value... accept how they are... which means almost offering my life... which no one can and should. 

So this is why I am so into climbing education now... Japanese guys are the people who did Kamikaze, out of fear of being called a traitor in WW2, guess how hard it was to change their perspective... sort of brain washed. 

There is actually the similar mentality in Kyusyu's Hiei slab climbing... notorious huge runout routes in granite slab, their bolting policy was, 1 bolt for 50m climb of  UIAA 3rd, 2 bolts for 4th, 3 bolts for 5th.  Kamikaze was implied when I heard about this bolting policy from Misawa the developer climber in Hiei.

More importantly,  this policy reflects nothing on the climbing situation. Climbing is much more sensitive. You need a protection before the crux no matter what grade. 

There is no decimal grade when they were climbing, so all of 5.2 to 5.12 or over are in the same 5th category... so it is about 12.5m apart... that must be a very bold climber to climb!  

So the mixture of the pride and ego, it's hard to change their mind even today, when a regular guy can climb up to 5.12 normally.  And the worship of boldness as a male is the source of their pride so I feel kind of sorry now to them. Because in this way, I imagine climbing has never been much fun to them. 

Now, so this is the explanation of why I am not climbing in Kyusyu.  

I will be very happy to climb with safety oriented climber partner in safe crag such as Laos and Long Dong in Taiwan. I actually plan to go Laos when my ankle is cured.

I had an operation(surgery) on March 1st and it is my full 4 months now on rehabilitation. Fighting alone to cure. I was hospitalized one week and learned a lot.

I am the midst of my rehabilitation now and happy to be so... I have something more important than just climbing... I know now climbing is not what I want to put my life onto... I want my life to be more meaningful. 

I am more into creating a new world that everyone can enjoy their lives without endangering the others life nor the mother nature.

【Safety】On Japanese crags bolting situation: Transition from Aid to Free

I am finally going to be a saint…

40 years old & 5-15kN

I am involved in bolting issues in Japan for the past 5 years, providing information to local governments, and have successfully finished one crag by reinstalling new bolts. 

Japanese climbers are still using 40-year-old bolts with only 5-15 kN strength when they were new...

I had a few climbers from overseas come to climb with me at a Japanese crag, but the problem is that there is no suitable crag to entertain them...

Now, Yuji is facing a very tough time trying to fix the crag in his area, but he is not succeeding.

The older generation thinks it is their right to deny the removal of old bolts and replace them properly.

The developer climbers are taught that the routes are their "artwork" when they are young, and they only install bolts for their own use.

As a result, there are many routes that are no longer safe for climbing free. They insist that young climbers should bring their own bolts for protection or climb the un-climb-able routes.

This way, only a few good climbers can accomplish the mission impossible! 

Today there are such a variety of people climbing, women, child, old and foreigners... it used to be only young Japanese male around 20's.

As a short climber, 152 cm (a little under 60 inches), the crags meant for young man's height are very dangerous for me. This is the reason for me go climbing abroad. I prefer safety over cost.

The distance between each bolt is too far apart in Japan, since historically, Japanese crags were developed by aid-climbers for aid-climbing. Today, no one likes to climb the crag with aid. No fun.

We need the transition from aid-climbed crags to "free climbing" crags. Well, at least in Kyusyu... all of those routes I've climbed were aid route turned into free. 

The purposes of bolts in aid climbing and free climbing are so different, for aid the bolts does not need to be that strong, because shock load does not need to be considered, and for the bolt distance,  the far the better. But in free Climbing, old aid climbed bolt layout is unreasonably dangerous, especially for a short climbers.

It's ok this way, when only selected few were climbed, but see Tokyo, see Fukuoka, 

young 20ish guys who started in a climbing gym, can not climb the routes even I, rather matured woman can climb. Be realistic. It's unsafe for today's climbers out of climbing gyms. 

If the local government of the crag wants to prosper, the crags need to be open to everyone including them. 

Young people, speak up!

Knowledge of bolting is not only important for Japanese young climbers, but they also need to have the courage to speak up for themselves.

Moving on the history of climbing is not rebellion. 

Japan still follows a seniority system, so the voices of the young are not heard; only the opinions of old or rather outdated individuals are considered.

However, it has been the age of free climbing since the 1980s, and now it's been over 40 years. No one really likes to climb the hugely runout aid routes anymore.

Even the old climbers themselves acknowledge the risks

They are trying to make a younger to lead climb, including me, a late starter who began climbing at age 41... has to lead when climbing with 70's. See me climbing in this photo. 

The left is me. leading. Note that there is another climber in right. So two climbers were belayed by one belayer. Understand the message untold. The old climbers are already so old that they seek help in lead, even to the weakest tribe like me in the industry.

So they know the risk, of course, only they can not admit it, just like once you pretend that everything is ok, you got to keep lying. It is not OK, older forks are too old to lead climb in the crags.

Thus, installing new bolts with updated knowledge and skills is actually a "benefit" to them too.

In fact, it's good for everybody.

But older people, when they get old, they are no longer capable of understanding what's really "beneficial" to them. They get angry at anything different from the old ways they are accustomed to. 

I realized this by injuring my Achilles tendon and spending time with elderly residents in hospitals who no longer know what's good for them and they attack even nurses.

Who wants to climb with this kind of anchors? But if this is their best shot... who can blame? 

Young men, now,  it is your turn to work for the other fellow climbers. 

Mt.Mukabaki On Trad New Route

Mt. Mukabaki

Route Name : Hideji

5.11d 6P 175m

Each pitch has its own unique moves.
At least 4 alpine draws are necessary.
Z4 or Master Cam is recommended for C0.75 or lower.

Details:
1st pitch: 5.11a 20m

B2 C0.2-3
This routes shares pitch with Yabu's Heartland.
Balancing and interesting from the hang.

2nd pitch  5.11d 40m

B12 Astronaut C0.2-0.4+C2

A patient pinch face and pumping legs.

3rd pitch 5.11c 30m

B5 C0.2-0.75+C0.5+C3

A ragged face to a hard hang over followed by and traverse.

4th pitch 5.11c 25m

B5 C0.1-0.75

Common pitch with Yabu's Heartland.

Various pitches with slabs, faces and cracks.

5th pitch 5.11a 30m

Astronaut C0.2-3+0.5

A concave corner after a simple staircase is tense.

6th pitch 5.10c 30m

B1 Astronauts C0.2+C0.3+C0.75-2
 

A long fall is intimidating.

--------------

Other route of Mt.Mukabaki 

Untranslated, but Young Yamanoi has climbed this mountain with aid climbing.

https://allnevery.blogspot.com/2021/12/blog-post_27.html

For those who want to climb in the crags in Japan

 These are six issues of Japanese crags.

1) The lack of Risk management

People often misunderstand that difficult climbs and beginner routes require very different techniques to climb. But in fact, the danger is much the same.

So it is more important to learn how to protect yourself first than how to climb.

But, you know, climbers today don't understand that and don't practice it.

I don't know if this is something that a young person like me should say, but it seems that today's climbers in Japan are less skilled at preventing danger than they used to be.

More than 20 years ago, it might not have been wrong to climb in mountainous areas using left pitons and bolts. 

But while the rest of the world is evolving, Japan is the only country that continues to do the same thing, aid climbing with bolts left by the first ascender.

So as a result, relatively speaking, Japanese climbers have fallen behind.

Older people don't seem to understand this and still teach young people aid climbing, thinking that 40 year old bolts are safe.

2) Do not fall easily! ...About learning the concept of behavioral protection.

The first thing a climber needs to learn is to never fall in a place where they shouldn't.

(Of course, you should never fall in any place...)

First of all, in order to climb in the mountains, you need to be able to recognize where you should not fall.  This is called, recognition of the risk.
 

Please don't brag to your friends that you go to places where you shouldn't fall, without using a rope. That is not a bold act. It is a silly action.

We all sometimes go to the cragging for practice, don't we? I see a lot of people hanging on the first bolt at the crags, but those people need to think a little more.

Hanging from the rope from the first draw is normal for indoor sport climbing, but at an outdoor crag, there is no guarantee that the bolt is strong enough to hang from.

So hanging from just one bolt is potentially dangerous.

Everyone doing so just doesn't realize how dangerous it is.

We need to think more about behavioral protection.

Of course, we also need to improve our climbing ability. There is no better way to protect yourself than not falling.

Some climbers think that they can rope up with any belayer because "I don't fall," but think wisely. We have to be careful, because the belayers who rope with such lead climbers have zero practice in catching a fall. There are belayers who only have experience in belaying like that situation.

If you are a 5.13 climber, you don't fall at 5.9 even by mistake. For alpine rock climbers, 5.11 was only enough 15 years ago.  Today's alpine rock climbers need to be able to carry 40 kilograms pack and climb 5.12 normally without getting slow.

3) Wrong belay

Belaying away from the wall is so widespread in Japan that it is even being taught.

Even on outdoor crags, you should avoid belaying away from the wall unless the ground you stand up are unstable.

Believe it or not, some organizations nowadays are instructing climbers to stay away from the wall because they can't see the climber.

It is wise not to get involved with people who stay away from the wall.

4) Misguided pioneering the wall

In Japan, the evolution of climbing has stopped since the development of routes based on aid climbing.

Climbing around the world is evolving, and if Japan just stand still, like the Red Queen's corridor in "Alice in Wonderland," climbing in Japan will quickly become obsolete.

And yet, by climbing with old, dangerous bolts, are we doing so to deliberately increase the danger and put ourselves in a tight spot?

That kind of climbing is mainstream in Japan.

Besides, the technique of protection (knots and setting a cam...etc) is not considered important at all in Japan.

There used to be a time when people used a lot of bolts because of the fragility of Japanese rock.

Unfortunately, that misunderstood way of using lots of bolts is still the mainstream in Japan.

On the other hand, some people bring the assumption of indoor sport climbing to the outside crags. It is true that you are allowed to fall on artificial walls, but that is not recommended at outside crags.

The current state of climbing in Japan is that there is no proper distinction between the indoor and outdoor.

(5) Knowledge of correct bolting is not widespread.

The original Japanese ring bolts and RCC bolts are not strong enough, so proper climbers do not use them.

All students have been using them for a long time, but they should stop.

The standard now is to use stud anchors (called goujons) that are at least 8mm in diameter. Top climbers even use 10mm stainless steel stud anchors when climbing in the Himalayas.

Reasonable climbers don't recommend using bolts. But if you have to, then you should use something reliable.

6) Continuation of old climbing styles

Even though the modern alpine rock climbing record is climbed in an all-free style, Japanese climbers continue to use the old style.

This is a unique problem only in Japan, where aid climbing of bolted routes was considered standard  alpine rock climbing style.

In other countries, such climbing is outdated way of climbing.

As a result, Japanese crags are experiencing the Galapagosization phenomenon.

The young generation of climbers today is still in the middle of this misunderstanding.

As a result, climbers who fail to change their style of climbing with aged bolts are getting serious accidents,  dying or being seriously injured in crags.

Conversely, for those who have developed advanced free-climbing abilities of today, Japanese crags have become too easy and unattractive.

Japanese alpine rock climbing has, after all, stopped its historical evolution.

And the introduction of sport climbing is the cause of the rapid increase in crag accidents in Japan.

アマゾンのクライミング本リスト

本を読むのが趣味です☆

 https://www.amazon.co.jp/gp/bestsellers/english-books/98400011/ref=pd_zg_hrsr_english-books

しっかし、日本語に翻訳されているのが、ほんと少ないですね・・・これでは、日本のクライマーは英語ができなければ、大変不利でしょう。

今どき、翻訳は、機械翻訳がやってくれますが、英語で読めるようになるほうが楽しいし、英語で会話できるとクライミング以外の別の効果もありそうです。

せっかくなので、クライミングをしりたい！を英語学習の動機に利用してみてはいかがでしょうか？

4 Year Summary...Kyushu Climbing Situation page 7 final

 Under construction-------------

■ Grading should be appropriate, though...

On the other hand, the fact that grading is hard is understandable to some extent, given the circumstances in which pioneers are placed.

Let's say you are the best climber in a group. You have pioneered a route, but no one can climb it again except you.

If the route is harder than that, he will go up a grade, if it is easier, he will go down a grade...because that is the only reference he has.

If someone like me, who is just barely in the teens, and 5.9 is not too bad, I can put 5.10c if it's where I would fall. I can put it that way. Or, how many tries did it take to redpoint? By counting the number of tries, you can give a grade. At my level, redpointing 10c in 2 or 3 tries is my current skill, so I can figure out the grade by the number of flights it took me to redpoint.

However, it is almost impossible to get a wealth of test climbers in pioneering, so it would be nice if the grades were properly aligned from easiest to hardest within a single crag....

The problem is the runout.

Free climbing is a climbing sport where you can fall anywhere and not die, so the problem is not the grade but the runout. In other words, it is a runout where you are not allowed to fall. Especially, the easiest problem at the crag.

First-timers, after all, tend to climb the easiest problems. If the problem is marked as 5.9, even if it is 10c, and you can fall down anywhere, you just say, "Oh, that was difficult," and that's the end of it.

However, if the task is made in such a way that you cannot fall, you are forced into a corner, and you have no choice but to fall and get seriously injured. This is the case of the Indian Face at Ya-ya. On the first day we went there, we met a person who had broken his lumbar vertebrae in a ground fall.

I am sorry to hear that, but it appears that the accident report was not carried in the Freefan. If information about the accident is not posted anywhere, the fact that the accident occurred at the crag will remain unknown.

Of course, if this was an alpine climber, he would have thought, "If I fall here, I'm in trouble! As soon as they realize that they are in trouble, they can take out their aids, such as skyhooks, and climb down to safety. Of course not. No one has ever heard of a skyhook....

Of course, no one would take a skyhook to a slope where they are not going to compete.

So, for those who only do normal free climbing, you should honestly put an "R" on any run-out or non-fallable task.

Free climbers are usually people who think they are climbing a safe route based on their trust in the bolt when climbing a sport route, or bolted route.

Again, they are being deceived by the route.

In the first place, free-climbing education does not teach you to use aid techniques to get out of an emergency situation.

Of course, they don't teach you that if you fall, the belayer will run behind you.

Not even alpine climbers know that these days. There are no alpine rock routes where you can belay running backwards.

Only ice climbers know that. Fortunately, I come from an ice climbing background.

Screws are expensive in ice climbing: 10,000 yen per screw. The momentum and the number of fulcrums are limited, so the belayer below has to take as many of them as possible to save money, and the belayer below has to say, "Hey, let's get them already... This means I have to run far back..." Of course, the belayer was lighter.

Of course, if the belayer was lighter, it would be pointless to run backward, because if he fell, he would be pulled forward. In fact, if the climber is pulled forward and crashes into the ice, the belayer may die and the climber who fell may be saved by the cushion of snow.

In Kyushu, old climbers may not understand the meaning of the word "runabout" itself.

https://allnevery.blogspot.com/2022/10/blog-post_28.html

Summary

So, to sum up,

Alpine routes = to design routes where you remove the bolts and make your own fulcrums.

Free climbing routes = solving the runout problem and designing free climbing routes where the original bolts can be trusted.

Kyushu has two issues to solve.

The other is to improve topo. It should have a top-rope assignment, R, X, etc. The same goes for the date of installation of the bolt and the name of the builder. Was the route started by an aide? Is it a ground-up pioneer? is also a very important context.

In view of the state of climbing today, the aging of the population has, in essence, made climbing lazy... For alpine climbers, it's free and comfortable climbing if you don't have to make your own fulcrums.

If not laziness, then, in a good way, it was ignorance to try to rebolt a cut anchor to a cut anchor in modern times, not knowing that a cut anchor is not a proper bolt in modern times... but anyway, that's 40 years, and it's not a respectable act, is it? Is it a respectable act? Is it a respectable act? The answer is obvious. No matter how remote Kyushu is, it is probably only 10 years behind the rest of the world, and that excuse is acceptable.

The fact that a free climbing route does not follow the logic of free climbing is also basically just a replacement for an aid, or a botched bolt position, rather than a well-meaning ground-up challenge.

I have to say that I would be happy to have a 5.9 to climb after I can climb 5.11. It is a route that I have always wanted to climb. It is a route that I have always wanted to climb. But it needs a historical background. And it needs to be widely recognized as such a route, and it needs to be mentioned in the topo. After all, the topo is there to convey context.

In Kyushu, we are paying the price of the previous generation...even in the 2000s, future generations have had to endure cut anchor bolts that have long since been retired in Honshu, free climbing routes where the bolts are unreliable...and so on.

In this case, it is not the most elite competition climbers who are getting an elite education these days, starting before the age of 10, who are in danger. They can get new bolts (in Goujon) to climb. The budget for this comes from the government.

On the other hand, the average civilian climber, who has been exposed to climbing as a hobby in a non-climbing gym, does not have a coach. They have no mentors. There are no climbing gym managers, no climbing guides, and no climbing seminars in Kyushu.

Even if a climbing course were to be held, the knowledge would not be passed on for fear of local protests.

By the way, a senior member of the Misaka Alpine Club was transferred to Kyushu, and he quit climbing as soon as he could.... That was the reason.

So, this is the end of my four years of climbing.

I am glad that I don't have to climb anymore.