Complimentary and enabling
Enabling is a very famous concept in Alcoholic treatment… when someone is alcoholic, there is someone who is enabling him/her to be alcoholic... i.e. dependent.
My mom needed an assistant for raising her kids, and I took the position of "little housewife", so she can work... that was enabling, ie. enabling her to be full time worker, because as a household we needed a full income. so the relationship with me and my mom was complimentary...
I had realized this unhealthy parenting when my mom, started to request me that I take a full responsibility in a household. I was putting up my situation as an oldest child as a temporary states, the responsibility on the household should be shared by all of the members in my family, but she made it look like it was my sole responsibility...
I had fallen into the relationship of enabling again in my climbing activities, I am very good at rope and belaying or risk managements in severe situation, and the last of my climbing partner lacks to it...he did not seem to interest in learning the safety in climbing only because I am good at... so I felt he is very dependent, without realizing he is so... with the lead climbing in Hiei, the white slab, he could not pull up a full lengths of the rope, so I could not free-climbed the pitch. As I climbed, I saw the cam he had set was in a wrong position so the rope was stuck. That is why the rope was not up. He did not seem to understand the mistakes he made.
The last pitch he made a belay station with just one bolt, and it was 40 year old cut anchor, so there is not enough strengths... this time again I had to aid climb for him since he connected 2 pitches in one, and the rope was short for that... you can not connect 25 m and 35 m pitch when you have only 50 m rope, that is a simple sum that anyone can do, but he did it so... later I realized that he did not check with the topo guide before he climbed nor understood basic sum of rope climbing... he was perhaps not well educated in climbing also, the purpose for him to climb was to look brave, falsely brave, so he can impress everyone. I managed somehow with this climb, since I was handed down the skills to survive such poor climbing... by my two climbing mentors, especially the first one... anyway, it took me a while to realize, I am complimenting him so that poorly prepared climbers keep pouring into me, so I should look like "non-educated" instead of "well-educated" so they don't rest on my efforts...
... well what I want is competing relationship in safety management in climbing. So I can explore my own horizon of climbing, without risking my life.
Competitive mind is not my cup of tea usually, but if you fail to manage safety in climbing, that will be straight death.
Anyway, I now understood what's complimentary and symmetrical... so I would be using it in my session.
