The last week was a void time for me... I was kind of owe struck... realizing how lucky I was and how blessed I was.
Insubong was such climbing.
I was reflecting my past few years of climbing... did I do such something that I deserve this fortune?
I had spent so many hours and so much passions to my climbing these days... and that was kind of intense. That came from knowing the situation that allows me to climb natural rock so easily, i.e., nearby rock was only 30min from my house then...is NOT permanent conditions.
People do not appreciate what they already have.
So visitors are fortunate to escape from such mind trap. I was aware that I don't live there forever so I DID what I can maximally, which was proceeding free climbing and alpine climbing.
Now thinking about how I should overcome the fear of runout, the main point is that I SHOULD enjoy climbing.
It is not exactly that I did not enjoy the climbing so far. The joy of climbing is not like you laugh at each other or like when you watch TV.
It is more like joy of meditating... you'd forget everything else but climbing.
And when you come down from the rock, the world looks so fresh and new, and beautifull... soooo beautiful that you can help thanking that you are still being alive in this world. You realize you are let live.
You can live your life thinking of what you don't have. Wanting more and more and more... never feeling enough.
Rock is not like that, it definitely makes you focus on what you already have. You manage. and you strive. and you survive.
So when you are down on the ground again, you've accomplished something.
This is such a feeling that gives you a confident and good feeling of self acknowledgement. You can do it, if you had to!! such feeling.
Ever Since I started the mountain and climbing, a lot of miracles and synchronicity had happened and this Insubong is one of them. A great one.
Not a one person missing in my climbing story... could not make this story realized. I had met so many angels! I am also the angle to someone... I try to be and I know I can be.
This is actually same as what happening in normal life but we just don't realize it since everyone else is takeing it for granted. Why should I appreciated and express gratitude what everyone else too have? is the too common feeling...
but truth is not that. Every one of us are living the life of miracles.
My life was miracle... so example, a girl who had no dad, no parent to support, DID go to the U.S. all by herself and stayed two years to master English. How could it be done without a miracle? I had only 200 dollars in my pocket!
Someone said he spend so much money on getting the TOEIC score and you know how much I spend for my TOEIC? Very minimum. I took my first test and it was 850. The second test 925. so I stopped taking. I gained money while I was working in the states. So the net is plus not minus. The same thing is my university life. I had a hard time but I was lucky, that I could finish the uni.
So life is a series of miracles and everyone should know that. Even what seems negative at first, is often a blessing.
When my husband got a first job transfer, it brought us together. The second transfer, it brought me the activities that I can be passionate. The third transfer this time, can, of course, bring us something nice.
The same with all of my climbing mate. Someone gets far away from you only means you have another vacation home.
Now I am at the stage of really being able to just enjoy climbing... which somehow I did not allow myself to do...
Climbing was more like obligation and practice... like what I have to do to be a "better me".
Yoga teaches importance of practicing and fulfilling obligation. Usually that means you do daily yoga pose... but for me what exactly feel like training and obligation was learning to climb.
Something stated bitter takes time to get sweet... which is exactly what happened to me... climbing was at first so bitter but now getting to be sweet.
Now I perhaps focus on just sweet part.
so what happen was that I was congratulating my achievement last week.